• slow cooker marinara that steph raved about
• pioneer woman’s meatballs that mary posted 
• brussels sprout salad that everyone posted on pinterest (did you know it was brussels sprouts and not brussel sprouts? I felt kind of dumb)

all get a big thumbs up from me.

• realized upon arrival at work that I’d forgotten my badge despite deliberately placing it where I’d remember it the night before 
• get to where my cube is supposed to be. figure out it is no longer my cube.  ask a stranger-coworker what to do. proceed to sit in someone else’s cube. 
• email my manager asking what I’m supposed to be working on. no response.
• read over all of the hr site. realize I know all this stuff because I’m not actually a new employee. 
• eat the banana I brought for breakfast and the banana I brought for an afternoon snack. all before 9am. 
• pick the remaining pieces of glitter from last week’s manicure off my nails.
• gchat. 
• look at dresses on anthro’s website for all the summer weddings. fall in love with this one. have Jordan tell me that he doesn’t know if it’s cute to have shellfish on your dress.
• pout. 
• climb all the stairs in the building in an attempt to kill time. wish I’d picked flats this morning. 
• go to bathroom. stare at pores.
• return to desk. count down minutes until lunch. watch clock slowly tick by. 
• eat lunch alone in my car while reading tumblr on my phone.
• repeat for four more hours.

I’ve taken to eating lunch in my car, reading tumblr on my phone, and attempting to avoid the black hole of conversation with strangers. I still have 3 more days of this. I’m not sure I’ll make it.

Leave work at 4:47 because you cannot take being there for a single minute longer. Commute in the rain. Whine about it. Walk through apartment door. Immediately change out of work clothes and into stretchy pants. Wash dishes you’ve left rotting in the sink for nearly a week (sorry, dylan). Lay in bed reading tumblr on your phone because you’re too lazy to get out your computer. Write this post. Realize this would probably be a bulleted list if you’d written it not on your phone. Wait for Jordan to come over. Watch this week’s top chef. Eat all the things in the fridge. Play the new board games. Jailbreak your iPhone. Fall asleep whenever you feel like it. Apologize for nothing.